Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
