why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
