Ketchup is God's man juice
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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