Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
