She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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