ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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