franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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