yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
