Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
