I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
