Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
