Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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