Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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