I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
