His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
