i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
