problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
