Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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