the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
