I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
