aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
