You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
