guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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