Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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