Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
