it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
