Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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