R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
