the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
