On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
