No stitches, just platelets and will power
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
