I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Terrible idea I love it
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
