Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
