And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
