Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
