Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
