bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
