so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
