Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
