I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
