we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
