He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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