Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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