i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
