We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
