Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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