used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
