There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
