so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
