there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
