You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
