Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
