Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
whose parrot is this?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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