is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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