Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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