oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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