is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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