Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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