He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
