I think i sorta joined a cult last night
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
