Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
