Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
